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Sock it to me, Santa! Visit my new website, www.hipchristmas.com
- Santa's Rap, Treacherous Three
(Atlantic, 1984)
This storied trio of hip hop pioneers is best remembered for two things - spawning
rap star Kool Moe Dee and performing this song in Beat Street,
one of several hip hop flicks from the early 80's. Like many great rap records, "Santa's
Rap" (which also features Doug E. Fresh - not a regular member of the crew)
is both scabrous and side-splitting, a bleak tale of ghetto holidays leavened
by ribald jokes and well-played dozens. Interestingly, "Santa's Rap" (a.k.a. "Xmas
Rap") was bleeped and truncated on both the original 45 and soundtrack LP;
a full-length, unexpurgated version was finally released in 2000 by Sequel (an
English label) on their Turn
It Up compilation. It was worth the wait, and it's worth hunting down. [back to list]
- Feliz Navi-Nada, El Vez (Sympathy For
The Record Industry, 1994)
Hard to say if there is some sort of cultural subtext here, but the joke works
either way. El Vez (nee Robert Lopez, whose early career in punk bands
the Zeros and Catholic Discipline has long been overshadowed by his flamboyant,
Mexi-centric alter ego) takes two wholly unrelated songs - Public Image Limited's "Public
Image" and Jose Feliciano's "Feliz Navidad" - and merges them
in cacophonous splendor. Available on Punk
Rock Christmas, Happy Birthday
Baby Jesus, and El Vez's own Merry
Mex-Mas. [back to list]
- Someday At Christmas, Stevie Wonder
(Motown, 1967)
One of the finest, most magnanimous protest songs ever incorporated into the
Christmas tradition, Stevie Wonder's "Someday At Christmas" calls the
bluff of all that "peace on earth" crap. This song (written by Motown
staffers Ron Miller and Bryan Wells) was a brave step for Berry Gordy's company.
This was 1967, a turbulent time in an America deeply divided over the Vietnam
War, and "Someday At Christmas" clearly states that violence against
our fellow man is folly. Not yet known for such bold statements, Motown risked
alienating the mainstream audience they'd worked so hard to win. Happily, they
didn't, and "Someday at Christmas" was modest success. First released
as the title song to Wonder's otherwise middlin' LP (read
more), the better choice is A
Motown Christmas. [back to list]
- Merry Christmas Baby, Otis Redding
(Atco, 1968)
A number of songs from Atco's landmark Soul
Christmas made my Top 100, and Otis Redding's rendition of Charles Brown's "Merry
Christmas Baby" is one of that album's most radical reinterpretations. If
you don't listen to the lyrics carefully, you won't even recognize the song.
Recorded in Memphis in 1967 (but unreleased till after Redding's death), Otis' "Merry
Christmas Baby" is built around Booker T. Jones' buoyant organ, Steve Cropper's
insistent guitar riffing, and merrily trilling horns. It contrasts strongly with
Brown's easygoing original as well as Redding's other Soul
Christmas contribution - a bleak "White Christmas." Altogether,
a remarkable performance. [back to list]
- Nothing For Christmas, The Reducers
(Rave On, 1988)
A great slab of loud pop, "Nothing For Christmas" updates the old novelty "Nuttin'
For Christmas" for the post-modern age. Our hapless hero boasts he's "pissed
off every one I know" and will spend the holidays contemplating his sins
- "they didn't even invite me!" (No wonder, since "Mom and Dad
think I'm a creep.") Similarly honored by DISCoveries magazine, "Nothing
For Christmas" is a rare treat, but well worth the effort of tracking down.
Originally released on a vinyl 45, later compiled by the band on their 1991 CD Redux;
both are available through the Reducer's website.
Also featured on the benefit CD, Ho
Ho Ho Spice. [back to list]
- That Punchbowl Full Of Joy, Sonny
Columbus & His Del Fuegos (Boston Rock, 1983)
This twisted gem is the only original song on the rare, wonderful Boston
Rock Christmas EP. I know little about Mr. Columbus other than that he fronted
a novelty act called the Swinging Erudites in 1985 and was characterized at the
time as a "deranged and highly active alcoholic." That's not hard to
believe given the horny inebriation that gleefully fills this "Punch Bowl." Though
Columbus insists, "Little Jesus, he's my man," the song is peppered
with blasphemous Christmas puns (logs, balls, stockings) that jive perfectly
with the Del Fuegos' noisy bump-and-grind. "I'll bring you back down to
my manger," Sonny promises, "'Cause at Christmas time no one's a stranger." Wow!
(Boston Rock Christmas has never
been reissued on CD, but "That Punchbowl Full Of Joy" was included
on Ho Ho Ho Spice.) [back to list]
- Please Come Home For Christmas,
Charles Brown (King, 1960)
After writing (probably) and recording (definitely - many times) "Merry
Christmas Baby," a song that defines rhythm 'n' blues Christmas music (see
above), Charles Brown struck gold again with this similarly timeless blues.
As Dave
Marsh & Steve Propes point out, "Please Come Home For Christmas" was
like a reverse angle "I'll Be Home For Christmas" - same sentimental
story, different perspective - and people responded strongly to it. Originally
issued on 45 backed with Amos Milburn's fine "Christmas (Comes But Once
A Year)," the record merely brushed the R'n'B Top 20. Then, in 1961, it
cracked the Pop charts - something "Merry Christmas Baby" never did
- and recharted in one form or another for the rest of the decade. Thanks to
the Eagles' popular 1978 cover, "Please Come Home For Christmas" is
now better known than its earlier, groundbreaking cousin. (Best purchased on Charles
Brown Sings Christmas Songs or Rhino's Christmas
Classics.) [back to list]
- Every Day Will Be Like A Holiday, William
Bell (Stax, 1967)
A lot of great Christmas songs aren't really about Christmas. Generally, we're
talking about songs like "Let It Snow" or "Baby It's Cold Outside" that
seem appropriate to the season but never actually mention the holiday. In modern
times, the holidays have often been used as a metaphor to serve some other purpose,
but never has this technique been employed more spectacularly than on this romantic
paean by southern soul man William Bell. The song, cowritten by Bell and Booker
T. Jones, expresses a lonely man's devout faith that his baby is on her way home
(hence, the title), but there's a dark subtext between Bell's plaintive harmonies
- methinks he testifies too much. The record itself (produced by Jones) probably
features the rest of the MG's (exact personnel are not known), and it clicks
like the very best Stax soul. Featured on Atco's Soul
Christmas. [back to list]
- Don't Believe In Christmas, The Sonics
(Etiquette, 1965)
Almost since the dawn of recorded Christmas music, a favorite
topic of songwriters has been how much Christmas sucks for them. Never mind that it's the "most
wonderful time of the year" - dude, I am bummed! Here, the Sonics' ferocious lead singer, Gerry
Roslie, expresses his disbelief in the "Happy Holiday" and his displeasure with Santa Claus,
declaiming "I didn't get nothin' last year!" Not only did the "fat boy" not show,
but Roslie got shot down at the dance - "you jerk," sneers his date, "mistletoe doesn't
work!" "Don't Believe In Christmas" was featured on Merry
Christmas From The Sonics, Wailers, Galaxies, a compilation of garage bands from the Pacific
northwest; the LP also includes another of my Top 100 picks, the Wailer's "Christmas Spirit??" Both
songs are also on Rhino's Bummed Out Christmas. [back to list] [read more]
- Who Say There Ain't No Santa Claus?,
Ron Holden (Donna, 1960)
Arguably the strangest record in my Top 100. Without a doubt, the only one that
ends with an execution. Ron Holden's bizarre R'n'B stomper (musically, a Coasters
cop) begins with our optimistic hero receiving a cash windfall from an insurance
settlement ("I had a wife who gave me trouble, and when she died, they paid
me double!"). A subsequent series of mishaps land him deeper and deeper
in trouble, and we begin to suspect that, maybe, his wife didn't pass from natural
causes. At each juncture, though, Holden sees the glass as half full ("doing
time" is just free room and board!) and reaffirms his belief in Old Saint
Nick. Ultimately, though, after committing robbery, extortion, and murder, he
gets "the chair" and must face reality - no, Ron, there ain't no Santa
Claus. Included, appropriately enough, on Rhino's Bummed
Out Christmas. [back to list]
- Boogie Woogie Santa Claus, Mabel Scott
(Exclusive, 1948)
The irrepressible Ms. Scott was briefly married to Christmas innovator Charles
Brown, and shortly after he waxed his "Merry Christmas Baby," she recorded
this equally groundbreaking piece of jive. The randy saint of "Boogie Woogie
Santa Claus" (on Hipsters'
Holiday) sparked a long string of Christmas boogie records from artists both
black (Sugar Chile Robinson, Big Joe Turner) and white (Hank Snow, Davis Sisters).
Further, ol' Kris Kringle would never be the same; Santa had already been caught
smoking reefer ("Santa's Secret," 1944), but subsequently he would
be-bop, mambo, rock, roll, twist, and more. In the immortal words of the Marquees, "Santa
Done Got Hip." To all a good night, indeed! [back to list]
- Here Comes Santa Claus, Gene Autry
(Columbia, 1947)
Because I tried to pick the coolest, most swinging Christmas records for my Top
100, I skipped over such holiday icons as Bing
Crosby and Nat "King" Cole.
But, to omit Gene Autry - a square, and proud of it - would be a travesty. The
legendary singing cowboy waxed the debut recordings of "Rudolph The Red-Nosed
Reindeer" (1948)
and "Frosty
The Snowman" (1950), and he scored numerous other holiday hits. In the end,
though, I choose, "Here Comes Santa Claus," the song he cowrote and
recorded in 1947 that launched his second career as Mr. Christmas. "Here
Comes Santa Claus" also helped establish the explicit connection between
the more commercial, secular aspects of Christmas and the sacred tradition of
the Christian holiday. Autry's bouncy, disingenuous rendition is a model of economy,
and it's one of many highlights on A
Gene Autry Christmas. [back to list]
- How I Hate To See Christmas Come
Around, Jimmy Witherspoon (Supreme, 1947)
Great blues shouter Jimmy Witherspoon cut one of the most abject of all the "Christmas
Blues" songs (which "How I Hate To See Christmas Come Around" is
sometimes called). The holidays treat him so roughly, he dreads them on an annual
basis. "It's really a beautiful sight," he admits, "but it always
bring me down." Mainly, he's just poor, and instead of shopping, Jimmy spends
the season visiting the loan company and the pawn shop. For Witherspoon, there's "No
chicken, no turkey, no cranberries," not to mention "no stocking, no
Christmas tree," all the while wailing horns seeming to mock his hunger.
Get it on Swing
Time Christmas, a fairly hard-to-find disc of great old yule blues. [back to list]
- (Everybody's Waitin' For) The Man With
The Bag Starr, Kay (Capitol, 1950)
This song swings like crazy, completely blurring the lines between jazz, rhythm & blues, and easy listening. Between the blaring horns, Starr's wide-eyed delivery, and the exceedingly
clever, morally ambivilant wordplay ("Old Mr. Kringle is soon gonna jingle the bells that'll tingle
all
your
troubles
away!"), you'll soon find yourself looking skyward, anticipating bounty from the North Pole. For awhile, "The Man With The Bag" was nearly forgotten. The 90's lounge revival, however, prompted
its appearance on several collections, including Let
It Snow! Cuddly Christmas Classics from Capitol, Ultra-Lounge
Christmas Cocktails, and Swinging Christmas (one of my Top 20 Albums),
while Brian Setzer wisely covered the tune on his excellent Boogie
Woogie Christmas CD. [read more] [back to list]
- 'Zat You Santa Claus? Louis Armstrong & The
Commanders (Decca, 1953)
Satchmo cut six Christmas sides for Decca Records in the 1950's as his career as a jazz innovator came
to a close and his new status as American icon came into focus. All the Decca sides are enjoyable (and all are included on What
A Wonderful Christmas), but "'Zat You Santa Claus" is the one that best captures Armstrong's
affable but mischievous persona while preserving his musical integrity. Recasting Santa as night prowler,
Satch and his band created the first (only?) Christmas-Halloween hybrid.[read more] [back to list]
- Merry Christmas Baby, Beach Boys (Capitol,
1964)
It was like pulling teeth choosing just one Beach Boy's track for my Top 100
list. "Little Saint Nick" is, of course, the obvious choice; it was
their big 1963 hit wherein the car song collided tunefully with the Christmas
carol. Ultimately, though, I went with a song that was not only more original
but also pointed the way more clearly towards "Pet Sounds" and beyond. "Merry
Christmas Baby" portrays a romantic scenario bordering on adult, and the
group's performance is beautiful and understated - even Mike Love acquits himself
with one of his most sensitive vocals. Songs like "Wouldn't It Be Nice" and "God
Only Knows" were just around the corner. (This is a Brian Wilson composition,
by the way, not the famous Charles Brown song. All the Beach Boys' holiday music
is collected on their Ultimate Christmas.) [back to list]
- Christmas Boogie, Davis Sisters (RCA
Victor, 1953)
Before "The End Of The World," "I Can't stay Mad At You," and
her long career as a country star, Skeeter Davis performed with friend Betty
Jack Davis as the Davis Sisters (though the two were not related). Their closely
harmonized sound was more archly country than Skeeter's later style, but "Christmas
Boogie," a clever rewrite of "'Twas The Night Before Christmas," is
an exercise in big-city hip - cornpone accents notwithstanding. This wasn't "hillbilly
music" (despite its inclusion of Rhino's lamentably deleted Hillbilly
Holiday), but it's an excellent example of the volatile boundry between country
and blues. [back to list]
- This Christmas, Donny Hathaway (Atco,
1970)
Most music historians concur that the "golden age" of Christmas music
ran from 1942 (Bing Crosby's "White Christmas") to 1963 (Phil Spector's A
Christmas Gift For You). I'd extend that period through the sixties on the
strength of (the original) Soul Christmas alone,
then I'd draw the line right here. Hathaway was a multi-talented musician who
worked with many soul giants (most famously with Roberta Flack), and he cowrote
what I consider to be the last Christmas standard - an exceptional song of universal
appeal. Further, his tasteful, thrilling performance on his own song (recorded
two years before it charted) has never been bested despite many attempts - by
Diana Ross, Gladys Knight, and Patti LaBelle, among others. "This Christmas " was
collected on the 1991 compilation Soul
Christmas. [back to list]
- Santa Claus Is Coming To Town, The
Crystals (Philles, 1963)
This song is one of the most charming moments on producer Phil Spector's landmark A
Christmas Gift For You. Beginning with an old-fashioned recitation, the Crystals'
leader LaLa Brooks lulls us into a Christmas reverie. Unexpectedly, Spector and
his "Wrecking Crew" launch a sneak attack, barreling full force into
this old lullaby, very nearly blasting through our besieged speakers while Brooks
and company spit out the lyrics with bestial passion. The drums alone (probably
Hal Blaine) are astounding, pounding away furiously, intent on disrupting every
child's visions of sugar plums with balls-to-the-wall rock 'n' roll. Then, the
stuttering saxophone solo in the bridge only serves to intensify our discombobulation
before the whole bombastic exercise crashes to a halt. Man, they don't make 'em
like this anymore! [back to list]
- Christmas Here (Could Never Be
Like That), Wednesday Week (Midnight, 1984)
Though still active, Wednesday Week has largely been lost to the ages. Consisting
of the comely Callan sisters, Kristi and Kelly, plus an ever-evolving supporting
crew, the band has orbited around the L.A. indie rock scene for over 20 years,
recording a few EP's and a couple of LP's, most notably What
We Had for Enigma in 1987. A pithy admixture of REM-derived jangle, girl
group-inspired sass, and noisy, new wave urgency made "Christmas Here" just
about the best thing Wednesday ever did, and it was the best song on the Midnight
Christmas Mess series released by New York indie label-cum-record store Midnight
Records. A poignant west coast ode to holidays in the Big Apple, "Christmas
Here" repeats a theme heard in songs stretching back as least as far as "White
Christmas" - this time, though, with a post-modern twist. Bums warming themselves
around trash barrel fires are as evocative of the Christmas spirit as snowfall
in Central Park or ice skating in Rockefeller Center. ("Christmas Here" has
shown up on two CD compilations, Santa's
Got a GTO and Ho Ho Ho Spice;
in both cases, it was mastered from a vinyl copy - not the master tapes.) (Pointless
footnote: the Callan sisters - in the guise of Lucky -
made an appearance at my old Austin, Texas record store, ABCD's, in the mid-90's.
Later, former Wednesday Week bass
player Dave Provost briefly
worked at the shop.) [back to list]
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