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- You're A Mean One Mr. Grinch (from “How
The Grinch Stole Christmas”), Thurl Ravenscroft (Mercury, 1965)
Like many of you reading my Top 100, my fondest Christmas
memories are inextricably tied to a series of now-classic TV specials that featured
some particularly strong music. These include Rudolph The
Red-Nosed Reindeer (1964, score by Johnny Marks, vocals by turncoat folkie
Burl Ives); A Charlie Brown Christmas (1965, featuring
the jazz stylings of Vince Guaraldi); Frosty The Snowman (1969,
in which Jimmy Durante reprises his charming 1950 version of the title tune); Santa
Claus Is Coming To Town (1970, with Fred Astaire serving as storyteller
and emcee); and Year Without A Santa Claus (1974,
best remembered for the gleefully malevolent "Heat Miser"). When it
came to selecting songs for this list, however, nothing topped this unforgettable
tribute to one of Dr. Seuss' most memorable creations. For me, the rosy spectacles
of memory had softened the truth, and when I first listened to the song in the
cold light of adulthood, I was shocked: the Grinch was one bad dude! Ominously
voiced by one Thurl Ravencroft (not narrator Boris Karloff as I had always supposed),
we learn that Mr. Grinch's "brain is full of spiders," he has "termites
in his smile," and his "soul is an appalling dump heap, overflowing
with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable rubbish imaginable" -
certainly not the plush toy presented in recent years! Though the complete
soundtrack was reissued a few years ago, I recommend Nickelodeon's Classic
Cartoon Christmas series, containing highlights from all the TV shows listed
above. [back to list]
- Christmas Wrapping, Waitresses
(Ze, 1981)
By the early 80's, it was OK to be a nerd (thank you, David Byrne). The Waitresses made something of
a career out of exploring the lives of nerds, first with the theme to Square Pegs,
a short lived sitcom, then with "I Know What Boys Like," a sneering portrayal of the ultimate
nerd (a horny male) as told by a woman (or prick tease, depending on one's perspective). "Christmas
Wrapping" fits this theory as well, only this time the insecure party is female and the story turns
out well. Employing a charming pseudo-rap style (think Blondie-meets-Tom Tom Club), singer Patty Donahue
begins with a resounding "Bah humbug!" After a year of missed romantic opportunities, though,
she runs into "that guy I've been chasing all year" while doing some last minute shopping. "That
Christmas magic's brought this tale to a very happy ending," she effuses, not unlike those Revenge
Of The Nerds movies two decades ago. "Christmas Wrapping" was the most popular song
from Ze Record's A Christmas Record, a neat LP that's
only
been reissued on CD overseas. However, the song often shows up on compilations (Edge
Of Christmas) and is included on Best
Of The Waitresses. [read more] [back to list]
- Gee Whiz It's
Christmas, Carla Thomas (Atlantic, 1963)
Carla Thomas didn't have many Top 40 pop hits in her long tenure with Stax and
Atlantic Records, but "Gee Whiz Look At His Eyes" reached a solid #10
at the very start of her career. Not surprisingly, she revisited the theme for
her Christmas single a few years later, and it made the charts as well. A charming
slice of fluffy soul, "Gee Whiz It's Christmas" mixes coy, girl-group
innocence with Thomas' distinctly mature sexual yearning. It should be pointed
out, as well, that this "Gee Whiz" was an entirely original composition
(cowritten by Thomas with Steve Cropper), not a retread of her earlier hit. "Gee
Whiz It's Christmas" was collected on Atco's Soul
Christmas in 1968, and its b-side, "All I Want For Christmas Is You" was
added as a bonus track on the 1994 CD edition. [back to list]
- I'll Be Your
Santa Baby, Rufus Thomas (Stax, 1973)
Whereas his daughter, Carla, usually worked a smooth, sultry groove, wild man
Rufus Thomas was always loud, proud, and funky (and frequently comical). All
four characteristics are evident in this bawdy exercise taken from Stax's It's
Christmas Time Again. As the horns mockingly toot Christmas carols and the
band lays down a dirty backbeat, Rufus hollers "Here comes Santa Claus," giving
the distinct impression he ain't talking 'bout no sleigh ride. Sexual innuendo
abounds throughout ("I'll slide down your chimney and bring you lots of
joy," "What I got for you, mama, it ain't just a toy," "When
the New Year rolls around, you'll still be askin' for more"), and Rufus
won't quit till the job is done - "till 1984," actually. Now that's
staying power! [back to list]
- Christmas In Jail,
Youngsters (Empire, 1956)
Second only to Ron Holden's "Who Say There Ain't No Santa Claus" (wherein
Holden gets sent to the electric chair), the Youngsters nearly take the prize
for worst Christmas ever. Guilty of overindulging at the office party ("I
was in the wrong lane feeling no pain"), our hero gets locked in the hoosegow
for the holidays. He'll be staying there through New Year's with only bread and
water to drink - indeed a bummer, which makes "Christmas In Jail" a
highlight of Rhino's Bummed Out
Christmas. By modern standards, this doo wop ditty could be considered horribly
incorrect politically; on the other hand, the hapless adventurer gets his due
and swears, "Ain't gonna drink and drive no more." If anything, "Christmas
In Jail" is a morality play set to a rockin' beat - sounds correct to me! [back to list]
- Santa Looked A Lot Like
Daddy, Buck Owens (Capitol, 1965)
In short order, Buck Owens recorded two Christmas albums, Christmas
With Buck Owens & The Buckaroos (1965) and Christmas
Shopping (1968), including several original songs. "Santa Looked A Lot
Like Daddy" (collected on Rhino's Hillbilly
Holiday) is the best of the bunch, and it's prime Bakersfield country - twangy,
energetic, and brimming with attitude. In this case, that attitude services a
wry joke - a twist on "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus" - but it's
a hoot all the same. Young Buck witnesses some hanky panky between his mama and
a suspiciously thin Santa; "If Santa Claus ain't Daddy," he resolves, "Then
I'm a-gonna tell on them!" [back to list]
- If I Get Home On Christmas Day,
Elvis Presley (RCA, 1971)
In 1971, Elvis was still riding high on the wave of success that followed his
storied '68 Comeback' NBC-TV special and From
Elvis In Memphis LP. Ironically, the TV show was supposed to have been a
Christmas special, envisioned by Col. Tom Parker as a traditional holiday offering
to placate the fans. For once, Elvis rebeled against to Colonel's unimaginative
leadership, and the result was an electrifying return-to-form for the King Of
Rock 'n' Roll. When Presley recorded Elvis
Sings The Wonderful World Of Christmas (which includes "If I Get Home
On Christmas Day"), the malaise that eventually led to his death was beginning
to take it's toll, but he was still selling millions of albums and concert tickets
and, more importantly, was still capable of uncorking amazing performances when
the muse inspired him. This record is just such a moment, centered around what
critic David McGee claimed "may well be the King's best recorded vocal." Written
by British producer/songwriter Tony Macaulay, "If I Get Home On Christmas
Day" is pristine 1970's studiocraft, understated in a way that Elvis' best
work rarely was. For instance, the incendiary "Merry Christmas Baby" on
the same album was wonderful, but it's drawn in bold, almost caricatured strokes.
On "If I Get Home On Christmas Day," Elvis is, for once, an adult,
with all the passion and ambiguity that condition portends. [back to list]
- Marshmallow
World, Los Straitjackets (Spinout, 1996)
Until recently, the world of instrumental Christmas rock was dominated by The
Ventures' Christmas Album, an 1965 LP that gained such status for a variety
of reasons, some valid (it rocks!) and some coincidental (how many instrumental
Christmas rock records can you name?). The 2002 release of 'Tis
The Season For Los Straitjackets (Yep Roc Records) helped change that situation,
giving the Ventures' classic a run for its money and providing reverb junkies
with a high-powered fix. The best song on the album, "Marshmallow World," was
actually recorded six years earlier for a red vinyl single (backed with "Sleigh
Ride") and was also released by Upstart Records on a promotional CD single.
With it's pounding drums, incessant sleigh bells, and chiming melody, "Marshmallow
World" announces a Christmas celebration without the band uttering a syllable. [back to list]
- The Christmas Song (Chestnuts
Roasting On An Open Fire), King Curtis (Atco, 1968)
As a solo artist ("Soul Twist," "Memphis Soul Stew") and
session man (Coasters, Aretha Franklin), Curtis Ousley earned the title of "King" by
popular acclaim. His take on one of the most popular modern Christmas ballads
(cowritten by Mel Torme and popularized by Nat King Cole) is a monumental act
of seduction, extending the romantic subtext of the lyrics to highly erotic levels.
No words are spoken here, but Curtis' smooth tenor saxophone speaks volumes,
beckoning lovers the world over to new heights of passion. It was recorded for Soul
Christmas (Atco, 1968) along with a version of "What Are You Doing New
Year's Eve" that nearly equals "The Christmas Song" in sensual
firepower. (That's Duane Allman, by the way, strumming in the background.) [back to list]
- I'll Make Everyday Christmas
(For My Woman), Joe Tex (Dial, 1967)
Kindly Joe Tex swung wildly throughout his career between reverent romantic sermons
("Hold On To What You've Got," "Sweet Woman Like You") and
boisterous comic goofs ("Skinny Legs And All," "I Gotcha").
This song was squarely in the former camp as Joe takes the men folk to church,
preaching that they should make everyday as special as a holiday for the women
they love. The solemn organ, Joe's slowly building fervor, and his homespun homilies
conspire to shame all but the most devoted husband. The song contrasts sharply
on Soul Christmas with songs like
Clarence Carter's "Back Door Santa" (see
above), but that dichotomy of sin and salvation has long been the essence
of gospel music - which Joe Tex's song is in all but name. [back to list]
- Who Took The Merry Out
Of Christmas, Staple Singers (Stax, 1970)
Like many of the Staples' best songs, "Who Took The Merry Out Of Christmas?" is
thinly disguised gospel that trades in down-home wisdom for the masses. So thinly
disguised, in fact, that mere spelling ("Merry" versus "Mary")
makes the song's intention less than explicit. Once a listener gets past the
label and down in the grooves, though, all such artifice disappears, and the
Mavis and family commence to preachin'. Folks are so "busy having fun, drinking
with everyone" that they've begun to treat Jesus like he's "just another
baby boy." A little to sanctimonious for my taste, but the steamin' Stax
stew and the Staples' spirited harmonies more than redeem the record (if not
my soul). (Collected on Stax's It's
Christmas Time Again.) [back to list]
- Lonesome Christmas, Lowell
Fulson (Swing Time, 1950)
The pop music industry - including its rhythm & blues sector - has always
eaten itself, recycling records, songs, and riffs for quick commercial gain.
Lowell Fulson's "Lonesome Christmas (Parts 1 & 2)" is a case study
in this practice. Originally recorded for Swing Time Records in 1950, it was
reissued every Christmas for several years until the label was sold to Hollywood
Records. Hollywood reissued the song as "Original Lonesome Christmas" in
1955, and Fulson subsequently rerecorded the song numerous times, including a
funky version for Jewel in 1970 (which I actually prefer to the original). Another
of his songs, "I Wanna Spend Christmas With You" (Kent, 1967) is virtually
indistinguishable from (and nearly as great as) "Lonesome Christmas." None
of this detracts from Fulson's good humored blue yule, which find him hoping
to spend Christmas "drinking egg nog with fruitcake" with his lovely
intended. ("Lonesome Christmas" has been reissued many times. The original
version is available on Hollywood's Rhythm
And Blues Christmas; the Kent rewrite is collected on Virgin's Best
Christmas Ever; and the Jewel rerecording was compiled by Varese on Merry
Christmas Baby.) [back to list]
- All I Want For Christmas
(Is My Two Front Teeth), Spike Jones & His City Slickers (RCA VIctor, 1948)
Spike Jones' usual method of operation was to satirize existing songs. Particularly
during the 40s, the story wasn't really finished for a big hit record till Jones
and his City Slickers destroyed it. Bells, whistles, and other clattering sound
effects combined with the Slickers' truly twisted musical vision to create records
that transcended novelty, reaching dizzying heights of inspired lunacy. Their
single biggest hit, though, was an original tune, "All I Want For Christmas
(Is My Two Front Teeth)," and Jones quickly found himself the target of
cover versions by Nat King Cole, the Andrew Sisters, Danny Kaye, and others.
None, however, could match Spike's gleefully mocking treatment of the whistling,
gap-toothed youngster who gets nothing for Christmas because Santa can't understand
him. Available on Dr. Demento Presents
The Greatest Christmas Novelty CD Of All Time as well as on Jones' own Let's
Sing A Song Of Christmas. [back to list]
- Nuttin' For Christmas,
Joe Ward (King, 1955)
Many artists have related this yarn of juvenile comeuppance (including Stan Freberg
in an hilarious variation), but none have bested originator Joe Ward for sheer
sass. Ward was the eight-year-old star of NBC's Juvenile
Jury (discovered by Steve Allen), and he barely scraped the Top 20 with "Nuttin'
For Christmas"; a year later, Barry Gordon took a cuter, less insolent rendition
all the way to #6. It was Ward, though, who sold the song's central premise more
convincingly: the singer isn't upset so much that there would be no bounty under
the tree; rather, he's pissed that somebody "snitched" on him and he
got caught! You can almost see young Ward's tongue poking out in snotty defiance
as he brags, "I ain't been nuttin' but bad!" It matters little that
his transgressions are slight by modern standards ("I filled the sugar bowl
with ants"). This brat is rotten to the core, and we're thrilled to see
his Christmas wishes thwarted. (Joe Ward's original recording has never been
issued on CD. Freberg's version is available on Dr.
Demento Presents The Greatest Christmas Novelty CD Of All Time, and Gordon's
is compiled on Collectable's Ultimate
Christmas Vol. 2.) [back to list]
- It's Christmas, Marvin & Johnny
(Aladdin, 1958)
The first ever Christmas reissue (in the modern sense of the word) came in 1976
when United artists issued Rhythm & Blues Christmas,
an 10-song LP containing seven songs on my Top 100 plus
three that barely missed the cut. "It's Christmas" by Marvin & Johnny
(known for songs like "Tick Tock," 1954) was literally rescued from
obscurity by that album, and the song's confident tempo and easy harmonies made
it a welcome discovery. Setting the stage for later duos like Sam & Dave
and James & Bobby Purify, Marvin & Johnny sang as one voice, professing
their devotion with gospel-like feeling. "It's Christmas" was later
included on Rhino's Rockin' Christmas:
The 50's LP and Liberty's Legends
Of Christmas Past CD. [back to list]
- Another Lonely Christmas,
Prince (Warner Brothers, 1984)
Prince was one of the world's most celebrated artists when he released this song
as the b-side of Purple
Rain's "I Would Die 4 U." The pealing guitars and layered vocals
are of a piece with other Purple
Rain productions, and the indulgent lyrics teeter similarly on the precipice
of self-parody. Prince sells the song, though, with his most redeeming trait
- his unquestioning self-confidence - and it matters not that he tells a tale
of silly melodrama (his girlfriend dies, then he drowns his sorrows in banana
daiquiris). When he reaches his squalling crescendo of catharsis, we feel every
bit of his pain, and that shared experience is what pop music is all about. (Later
collected on Prince's The
Hits/The B-Sides.). [back to list]
- Christmas Spirit (aka Christmas
Blues), Julia Lee & Her Boyfriends (Capitol, 1947)
Walking a fine line between jazz and blues, Julia Lee and Her Boyfriends recorded
one of the finest of innumerable variations on the theme of "Christmas Blues" (see
Rhino's Hipsters' Holiday).
The band sets the stage with raucous party noises, then Lee enters with the most
abject of lines. "Christmas spirit's all around me, but I just don't feel
a thing," she insists, but the raw, unrequited sexual need (and bawdy humor)
Lee injects into her understated performance is remarkable. Aware that Santa
can't bring her what she needs most (wink, wink), she resorts to flirting with
the Fat Man himself. "I could go for your long..." (pausing wickedly) "whiskers," she
purrs, then invites Santa to drop by when his work is done. Christmas might not
be so blue after all! (Lee was a pianist and vocalist who specialized in songs
like this, and she was quite popular during her tenure for Capitol from 1944
to 1950. Her Boyfriends on this session included stellar saxman Benny Carter
and trombonist Vic Dickenson, whose sultry solo is a sleazy highlight.) [back to list]
- What Are You
Doing New Year's Eve? Orioles (Jubilee, 1949)
Not many great pop songs have been written about New Year's, and this is undoubtedly
one of the best. Paired with "(It's Gonna Be) A Lonely Christmas" (originally
released in 1948, see above), Sonny
Til & The Orioles' "What Are You Doing New Year's Eve?" is part
of one of the greatest Christmas singles ever, one that tells a little story
between the front and back sides. After spending Christmas in the throes of depression,
our hero ventures out, seeking redemption at midnight, Dec. 31, on the lips of
his lost love. "Maybe I'm crazy," he posits, "but just in case
I stand a chance, here's that jackpot question in advance." We're rooting
for you Sonny, but your track record ain't so hot.... (Both "What Are You
Doing New Year's Eve?" and its flipside are on Doo
Wop Christmas as well as Christmas
Past.) [back to list]
- I Saw Mommy Kissing
Santa Claus, John Mellencamp (A&M, 1987)
This cute-but-annoying little song dates back to 1952, when little Jimmy Boyd
made it a pop sensation. It's been covered hundreds of times, including popular
versions by Theresa Brewer, Perry Como, the Four Seasons, the Ronettes, and the
Jackson 5. It's been parodied by Spike Jones and Homer & Jethro ("I
Saw Mommy Smoochin' Santa Claus"), and Boyd himself recorded "I Saw
Mommy Do The Mambo (With You Know Who)" two years later. I chose to spotlight
John Mellencamp's version, however, because it steers clear of the novelty and
delivers a rootsy performance as convincing as any the celebrated Hoosier ever
waxed. One of Mellencamp's mentors, John Prine, had recorded the song to kick
off his Oh Boy! label in 1984, and that version served as a blueprint for Mellencamp's
own version. But, in 1987 the former Johnny Cougar was at the culmination his
most fertile period (Lonesome
Jubilee was released the same year), and the spirit with which he and his
band reinvent Boyd's trifle is impressive. Infusing their arrangement with hints
of cajun, bluegrass, and rockabilly, they achieve a sort of novelty nirvana that
renders Santa's illicit lip-lock all but irrelevant. (Originally released on
the overrated but widely-praised A
Very Special Christmas.) [back to list]
- Jingle Jangle, Penguins
(Mercury, 1955)
On tiny, Los Angeles-based label Dootone, the Penguins achieved immortality with
1954's "Earth Angel," a sublime doo wop classic. That success led them
to mammoth Mercury Records, where they promptly slid into obscurity. Before they
did, they cut a ballad, "A Christmas Prayer," backed with the Latin-tinged,
sax-driven rocker "Jingle Jangle." The b-side was the one that emerged
as the classic, with its irresistible beat overwhelming the somewhat innocuous
lyrics (every Christmas party needs some good dance music). "Jingle Jangle" is
easily available on Rhino's Doo
Wop Christmas, but you'll have to buy Best
Of The Penguin: The Mercury Years if you want both sides of the single. [back to list]
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